Doing something uncomfortable is not in my nature. I will go out of my way so I won’t have to endure discomfort. But at the same time I dream of something more. When I was a little girl I desired to swim but it wasn’t until I started taking lessons that I learned how to swim. My first lesson, I knew absolutely nothing. But my desire to learn was so strong that I stuck with it and it took a few months of feeling self-conscious before I finally began enjoying the water. In order to overcome feelings of anxiety and self-doubt I had to be willing to step into the unknown. Have you ever noticed how the more you focus and practice doing those things that make you uncomfortable, the better you become at doing them? And then eventually, you even start to feel comfortable doing them?
So, fast forward thirty years. I’ve always loved to watch people dance especially ballet and jazz. But I’ve always been much too self-conscious to actually try it. But I have a friend who is really good at pulling me out of my comfort zone. And she asked me to take a ballet/jazz dance class at our church. And as I’ve said, I go to great lengths to avoid situations that make me feel uncomfortable. But a part of me wanted to try it. And the more I thought about it the more I realized that I desired to learn to dance; even if I looked ridiculous in front of others; even if I felt a little humiliation. And believe me, I feel awkward. But I was beginning to realize that change only happens when we step out of our comfort zone.
I’ve been to dance class three times so far. Of course, I talk about how ridiculous I look to my family when I come home from class! The other night while I was at dance class my boys decided to spy on me through a crack in the door to the dance studio. And when we were driving home that night my son said he thought I was a good dancer, graceful even. So I jokingly asked, “And did you notice I was at least three steps behind everyone else?” And then he said something to me that I really needed to hear. He said, “I wasn’t watching them. I was watching you.” So yes, my eyes filled with tears because isn’t that how God sees us? He isn’t comparing my dance moves to anyone else on that dance floor. He sees me. He’s watching me. And He’s watching you, too. He sees you.